Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
