my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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