dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
