just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
