I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
