Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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