Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
