i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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