she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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