I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
