Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
