I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
