Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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