my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
