she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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