I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
