I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i think im in europe. pls send help
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
