THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
