lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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