As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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