So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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