Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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