Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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