we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
