In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
