i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
