Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
