everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
