I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
is it fun? or sober?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
