I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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