im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
