Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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