The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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