i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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