Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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