At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
