the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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