sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
