dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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