I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize