If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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