You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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