Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
