Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
