just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize