So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The air was thick with penises
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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