He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
