just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
