My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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