the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
