FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
