God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
