All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
