At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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