New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
