Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
