low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
