Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
