Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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