You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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