Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
